Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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