Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
