We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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