I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize