When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
false alarm, still single
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
