What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
