i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think a kid would responsible me up
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
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