i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
