The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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