I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
