just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
