I got chris browned last night
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
