Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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