i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
