I don't think brook has ever known best
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
