I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
