So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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