Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
