Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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