I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When are your genitals available?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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