I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize