I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
