i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
