i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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