the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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