Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
