cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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