i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
