It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
