i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
