I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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