I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
