my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
