Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
