Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i permit you to call me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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