My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
