Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
