We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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