Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
