Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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