My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
