I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
