Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just google imaged poop.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
