I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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