...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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