Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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