i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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