ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
