He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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