Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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