all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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