My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize