I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
