Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
