My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize