i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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