I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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