windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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