Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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