your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
