she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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