Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
