That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
and she was petting her beer can
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
