Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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