It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
