Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
