If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
