i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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